I want to say, in almost everything you said, I relate. From sensory overload, to not knowing how to talk to people and engage in a meaningful conversation, to anger, ... etc.

If it's of any help to you, I keep withdrawing from social situations, and I believe this is what keeps me the same alone, fragile, and angry person. I don't endure what I perceive as mistreatment/rejection from others.

I think small steps as what you did the other day when you talked with people, with some persistence can move you closer to what you desire.

I agree with you 100% making connections is as important as, or even more important than, excellence. As I said elsewhere here introvert and shy people don't get their fair share of life because they don't express themselves socially well.

Just keep trying, and put yourself to the situations you don't like. Your anger can be of benefit to you if you know how to direct it constructively. I use my anger to say the things I want to say, and do the things otherwise I wouldn't do. For example, sometimes I feel angry on myself that I cannot talk to people and gain the respect of others, so, even though sometimes I stay at home and feel depressed, other times I go out and try to prove to myself I can do it.

It was nice to know something about music, like there is no dissertation and the jazz and female stuff. Embrace yourself, and prove to others that you can fit where ever you desire.

Good luck

WS