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Originally Posted by StuckinRut
I began dating a new person in November 2015. We seem to have quite a lot in common and have enjoyed lots of fun dates together. I have 2 questions:
1) How can I tell if we are truly suited? Unfortunately I have a poor track record where romantic relationships are concerned. A key problem is that I tend not to be exactly clear, in my own mind, about what I am looking for. For that reason it can take a while for me to work out whether a relationship is right for me or not. I don't want to waste anyones time, so I'd rather figure that out as quicky as possible.
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First problem: "I'd rather figure that out as quickly as possible" Key words being "as possible" Being quick and rushed about finding out if someone suits you is a bad approach to dating in the first place. You can't even know if a friend you just met is one that will last, how much more someone that may potentially be a long term lover? Two people getting to know one another simply takes time. the risk of it not working out is inherent in dating and there is really no fast track to figuring out if that's true. Honestly if you think you're wasting someone's time by dating them and getting to know them, I really think your perception and expectations are kind of skewed. it's not an interview, it's not a test, nor is there any standard practice to making it work out. Why do you think there are so many posts here of people having been in relationship for a long time need help? Because even after people have been together years they are still growing, changing and learning. There is no standard practice because people/women/men are not robots and no two are alike. It's a process and if you're not willing to go through it and find out if you fit each other by taking the time, maybe you're not prepared for dating itself. I don't think that's the case I just think your expectations are a bit off. Take your time, enjoy what you have now and see where it goes. Nothing wrong in that regardless of whether it works out long term or not, there is no reason dating and enjoying it now cannot happen
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2) How can I be a good boyfriend? My feelings for this lady are growing in strength and I want to be a good boyfriend and make her happy. I would really appreciate any advice on traits/characteristics of a good boyfriend.
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Another question that really has no standard answer. Every woman is different, wants and needs different things. The person who can tell you, and show you that is the girl you are dating. No one else can say out of context the standard way to be a "good bf" but... that being said...
Be unselfish, think of her needs and care for her in ways that she appreciates and wants. Listen well and hear your partner but again, this.. is really truly an approach at all relationships only the difference being friendships do not include the physical intimacy and romance factors. Outside of that I think that's all that can be said to being a good bf.
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Some people might remember that in my last post I was 6 months into a new relationship. The lady that I was dating wanted to have children, but I was pritty sure that this was something which I didn't want. After a lot of careful thought I realised that I had to let her go, so that she might find someone who wanted the same thing. I've discussed childen with my current girl friend and we have similar thoughts on the matter.
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These kinds of things can be found out early on but outside of major values such as those, time will tell whether in other ways you are a match.