Once before I had my diagnosis I went to my therapist and told her I was too happy. I was really really happy and it felt strange to be so happy. She laughed and said it was OK. But I felt that it wasn't Ok. It was BP hypomania and I didn't know it yet. I usually noticed the change at work first. I would get super productive. I loved my job. I felt really smart and felt that I could tackle anything. (I am smart according to IQ tests - but I usually feel stupid ). 3-6 months later I hated my job and myself and would call in sick until I either quit or they fired me. That was the depression kicking in. Repeat repeat. Now I'm on permanent disability. I'm on Lamictal and it helps a lot but I miss the great feeling of hypomania. Not enough to stop taking my pills though. I still have a low grade depression that won't go away.

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