When I was 26, I had dream about a man who apparently loved me a great deal. He was the father of my ex-boyfriend. I knew he cared about me a great deal. And I hadn't seen him for five years. In the dream he was walking towards me on a dirt (country) road. He told me to tell them not to worry about him, he was happy. Then he said he had to go. He went in the opposite direction to where I went.

A couple of days later I phoned my ex-boyfriend, who told me his father was in the hospital dying. This man met with me in my dream, to say goodbye. He conveyed his message to me. I didn't go to visit him in the hospital. I didn't go to his funeral. Why? Because he knew I knew. I knew he loved me. I knew he wanted to say goodbye to me. I knew he wanted to say goodbye to me in his own way.

Funerals are for the living, they are not for the deceased. They are held to give the living a vehicle for closure and grieving.

People are in each other's lives for a reason. Once the purpose of that person being in your life is fulfilled, most people will drift apart. This woman played an important part in your life. My ex-boyfriend's father played an important part in my life. Going to see him on his death bed wasn't necessary. Going to his funeral wasn't necessary. Just say goodbye to your second mother in your heart and in your mind (when you are in bed and before you fall asleep). She will hear you. She will know. She will understand. If you don't need a funeral to say goodbye, then you don't need a funeral to say goodbye. Funerals are for the living, they are not for the deceased. If you don't go, it just means you are going to say goodbye to her in your own way.