Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellahmae
I understand this differently right now where I am. T used to be all cozy and extra miley with me and now I guess we've transistioned into 'normal therapy' but I still want the extra mile T that I had and it hurts when she tells me about the extra things she does for other clients. What state do I have to be in to get that back? I feel like if I'm okay she'll kick me out. If I'm not okay she'll keep me around but others need more than I do because I had that part of her already but I still want it. Can't tell her any of this because then I'd just be pushing her away and it'd be inappropriate. I don't know why I said all that or what it has to do with anything but I get it in a way :/
|
i can relate to this... my T did a lot for me in the first couple years. That is also because of where we met in a residential facility. when he left in 2014 things kinda changed... things arent bad now and i know he still cares a lot. it's just the environment is different, because he is in a private practice now. anyway, i try to tell myself that i needed that level of support and care then, and since i am doing better now.... i am more capable of taking care of myself in that way. i still need T sometimes, sometimes really bad. but i let it pass over me if i can. i understand the pain, though, of having that level of support and care, and then having that pull back into something more "normal" or "traditional".... it is confusing and it hurts..... but my overall goal is healing and to recover, to build a life for myself.... i try to remind myself that... my goal is to not stay stuck