You sound like somebody who doesn't really want to die but is too confused to understand how to fix your life. I understand that totally.
You want to find "a good reason" to blame for your depression but often the reason isn't visible. Quite likely you have a chemical imbalance in your brain. If things are dramatically worse with this new mix of meds you are taking you should notify your MD.
Please keep posting here for support.
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The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous
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