I hear you. I'm a lot like you. I have social anxiety and bipolar disorder type 2. I'm 62 and still figuring it out. Thanks to my career (accounting) I'm computer literate. Since I went on disability 3 years ago I find I'm falling behind on technology very quickly.

I too met a lot of distant and not so distant relatives on Facebook when doing genealogy in 2010 and 2011.

I believe that most people try to put their best foot forward on Facebook and hide the not so good stuff. One of the most depressed people I have ever known had a smile on her face every time I saw her. It took years of friendship before she opened up. So I think that what you see on Facebook is some people trying to make themselves feel better by telling good stories. Stories like "I'm so rich I bought a brand new house and car". The truth may be that they are in debt up to their eyebrows and living paycheck to paycheck. It's human nature to tell only good stories about yourself and hide the not so good stuff. It's human nature to compete and try to keep up with the Jones's. I chose to opt out of those behaviors. And now I realize that some people are truly happy all the time and have good things happen and I'm glad for them. I wish I knew their secret but I think my problem is messed up brain chemistry combined with past abusive relationships and being bullied at school. Being an introvert doesn't help. It took 57 years for me to get a proper diagnosis and find effective meds and therapy so that I can be somewhat effective in life. And somewhat happy most of the time and really happy if something good happens.

You have to be careful on Facebook about who you follow and who you're friends with. There's a lot of good people who understand our problems on Facebook. You just have to find them. You can search by clicking on the magnifying glass and typing a name or email address. Look for someone or something that feels good to you. Google "inspirational people". Someone inspirational like Wayne Dyer for instance. Wentworth Miller is an actor who suffers from depression. His Facebook page is very inspirational. Today his message was about how to dampen down the thoughts that you're not good enough. He's very eloquent. I follow him and read his posts every day. There are more people who understand than you would think. There are also some who don't want to understand because mental illness scares them. There are people who are negative and some who brag about themselves. There are those who say religion will solve all your problems. What I dislike most are the Facebook posts that say all you have to do is just be happy when you're suffering. Like Nike saying "Just do it ". That's an oxymoron that I just can't stand.

Maybe Facebook isn't for you. It's not for everybody.

These forums on psych central are great for sharing life's problems with people who can relate to what you're going through.

I also suggest therapy. I have a therapist and a psychiatrist. They help but I also have to help myself. Despite all their help I'm mildly depressed right now. But I know that the stronger I feel the better I will get. It will get better. Yes my house is dirty. No I didn't shower today. I'll never own another car because 11 years ago I declared bankruptcy and I've had 2 cars repossessed since then. My credit rating is in the toilet. Thanks to my hypomania I've started 5 businesses that failed spectacularly. I had 14 different jobs in 8 years. Some days I can't leave my apartment because of my social anxiety. I beat myself up over these things. I think that I AM a loser sometimes. Not always any more but still sometimes. But I know now that it can get better with time and help.

My therapist said I have to change my "stinking thinking" to feel better.

I've gradually come to the place where I can be glad that my friends and family are happy. It's an outlook that's hard to achieve but I'm not envious as much anymore. I'm grateful for what I do have instead of being jealous of what other people have. It took me a lot of years to get to that place but it feels so much better than my old place. Every day I try to be grateful for what I do have. I'm warm, safe, dry, have clean clothes to wear, good food to eat, and clean water. I have the internet and online friends. I live in a free and democratic country. Millions of people in this world can't say that. Just being grateful for water can help you feel better. Millions don't even have clean water, let alone anything else the Facebook people have. For example, I'm grateful every time I take a bath. And a bit guilty when I think of how many people in Africa need clean water to drink. I'm so grateful that I live in Canada.

These forums can help if you can't afford a therapist. I'm lucky to live in Canada where most medical care is free, so I can have a psychiatrist and a therapist. Look around and try to find a support group for anxiety. Group therapy can be really helpful if you participate when you're there. My social anxiety causes me to take a long time to feel safe enough in a new group to fully participate. But just listening to others can be helpful too.

But most of all, try to take it easier on yourself. You're not alone. You're not the only one who feels this way. Try to grab hope by the collar and find others who will empathize and support you. I'm lucky (?? Another oxymoron? ) to have a friend who is also depressed and has social anxiety. We talk to each other a lot and talking about my problems with someone who understands is a great help to me. And he tells me that it helps him too.

Take baby steps at first until you get stronger. It's an uphill battle but so worth it. I've had social anxiety since I was 9 and I believe that I've been bipolar since I was a teenager but didn't know it until 2011 when I finally got my correct diagnosis. I'm proof that it can get better. Not perfect, but better. Try to hold on and try to find an empathetic ear to talk to. In the meantime use the forums. The more people you meet in the psych central forums the more you'll learn that you're not alone and that some people do understand.

I hope this helps you in some way. Sorry to be so long winded.


Sent from my SM-G920W8 using Tapatalk