I can see bits and pieces where if published, someone will jump all over you in an inflammatory way. They might anyways, but if you're looking to revise and edit, this might be as good of a forum as any. "Wave" is certainly an expression that could rub wrong. And without having quoted your letter, I'm unable to pull out areas that I see as potentially being trigger points for others. Not that your message isn't loud and clear. No-one deserves to be bullied into going with the flow. They could have just accepted your No, not participating and moved on. Explaining why isn't truly important, your not participating needed to be accepted. That chip on the shoulder rests with them and them alone.