You did not really know this individual was going to abuse you, not your fault. You did the right thing by reporting the abuse. It is understandable that you have been deeply affected by the extreme behavior this individual expressed to you. Often the result can be that of self blaming, thinking there must be something wrong with you in that you experienced this and did not see the red flags. However, these individuals can be incredibly attractive and charismatic and even pulling others in that begin to think they are special to this kind of individual not realizing they are only a new object of "posession". You attracted this kind of individual because you had something the individual wanted in that you are attractive, outgoing and had a good job. You had a shine about you that stood out to him like that pebble on the beach that stood out from others. That is not something "wrong" with you it was right enough to attract.

The way you were treated had nothing to do with you, it was because this individual is too insecure inside to understand how to be more to you other than needing you to "service" his needs. A lot of these individuals were not loved and appreciated and nurtured in their childhoods, so they develop their own ways of trying to fill this void that are hard on others. Some of these individuals were even traumatized when they were children and developed this excess narcissism as a defense mechanism. The anger that you experienced is always a red flag as these individuals "need" to feel they have the "control" and get angry when that is threatened and they prefer to have others "weaker" then them as that gives them a sense of "empowerment".

It is normal that after experiencing this kind of toxic relationship that one is left stunned and confused and hurt. It is even normal that an individual can be so hurt that they pull back from doing anything that can become something that can make them a target once again. There are many that need therapy to help them slowly grieve this bad experience and regain their personal sense of safety and slowly gain their own ego back and "self trust".