My mother refuses to admit it, but I am certain she has depression. I've urged her to seek a therapist for herself if not for me (she refuses to believe my depression is anything to speak of also) and she won't. The effect on our family dynamic, and especially between her and me, is very large. My siblings and I, mostly I as I'm the oldest, serve as her only emotional support. To some extent, her husband and my father does too, but not as much. She needs us very desperately because she isolates herself from everyone else. I've also urged her to make friends outside the family and she doesn't seem motivated to do that either. I'm leaving for college in about five months now and I'm very worried about what will happen to her when I'm gone. I'm afraid she won't really let me start a life and will try to keep me engaged too much in hers. I feel that she hasn't been a very good emotional support for me because I've had to emotionally support her. For my own needs, I've had to rely entirely on friends, people who weren't even in my life before a few years ago now.

I guess what I'm saying is, if you're not seeking professional help, then definitely do that. And try to surround yourself with supportive people. Your spouse should definitely be high on that list, but no one person can be the full support for someone with depression. It's ok to let your kids help (if they're old enough to), but please don't make them the basis of your support. They need you as much as you need them and it damages them if they feel they can't get support from their parents.

Does that make any sense? I'm sorry if it doesn't. I'm just giving you my own family story I guess. Hopefully it's ok that I'm from the child end and not the parent.