Quote:
Originally Posted by here today
There were some interesting discussions on this thread a while back. I miss them! Narcissism – and the topics of ego, self, and identity – are topics that fascinate me even though I don’t have the NPD form of disordered personality.
Here’s a long quote from the Wikipedia article on true and false self that I could certainly identify with. For instance, Lowen’s description of a narcissist is a lot like me, only I mostly “acted in” my rebellion and anger on myself. Or at least so I think.  Also interesting is Masterson’s contention that all personality disorders involve a conflict between the “true” and “false” self.
Thoughts or reactions, anybody? |
True/False could also equate to not learning as a child rather than damaged as one. I suppose the not learning could also be recognized as damage. Some valid insight but to what extent, seems so simple in hindsight!!
True self= A parent or both who showed their child love, explained to them why things happen, told them it will be ok, taught lessons and so on.
False self= lack of everything, abused, neglect and it too goes on and on.
Damn mom why couldn't you show some love HA HA!!
Truth is we are people when in that impressionable stage that were left to figure things out for ourselves. I was normal (to me) for many years. Then I was not. Struggled with my demons for a long time and now realize more than ever how I hate the emptiness, the numbness and all in-between. Sure it is simple to show one face that the world see's only to see yourself in the mirror as anything but. I don't think this is only a person with NPD though. This reality is more complicated than any single label.
Some lyrics form Seether (Seems he relates):
It seems like every day’s the same
and I’m left to discover on my own
It seems like everything is gray
and there’s no color to behold
They say it’s over and I’m fine again, yeah
Try to stay sober feels like I’m dying here
A tortured soul have I become
It keep's me safe and leaves me numb, right?
One more which is a remake by Disturbed:
Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left it's seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains within the sound of silence
There are so many great words that we can all relate to. I keep my soul dark because I don't know how to let go of pain. I don't know how to express it either in a positive way as I should of learned in those younger years. I saw a great quote that said if you could read my mind you would not be able to stop your tears. The torture I allow myself to replay is crazy, but knowing there are so many others like me at least makes me feel a little comfort. To get to a place in piece with one self is the ultimate goal. The necessity of what is supposed to be defined as a good life. All the material BS and the ways that you are expected to be is what kills us all inside. (any song writers the last one is a good one)!! I am me, I am not a monster but one who feels things that cannot be explained or expressed in person. Sure some of my thoughts may not be looked at as something that is positive but they are my own. With that I am still someone who would appreciate to feel normal, to understand things properly and be able to replay that in my ways. Maybe some of us need to be dark, to have the feelings of torture clamp around our souls to give us a meaning of what we are. In church I heard God only gives us what we can handle. That comment made me smirk a little!! Funny joke right?? Death, torture, crazy thought patterns, childhood crap and more and more.
Thanks for that!!