Hey

It's okay to cry, there's no shame in letting your feelings out and accepting them as feelings

As for emotional maturity, I think it's all there and you don't know it I want to take it word by word. If we were to talk about maturity, you are clearly mature and aware of the fact that something has to be done in order to solve a problem, and talking about emotions, you clearly have emotions toward the situation and toward your kids Putting those two words together, you do understand feelings, and you do manage your emotions by for example holding your cry. The only thing you need, since all the element are absolutely there, is to simply gain a little more focus. For example, start doing little things for your kids, take them somewhere and have a nice dinner, and allow them to talk about their days, and then be curious about it all, and then, they will start noticing that you do care, because you really love them and you really care about them Then do other things, be connected with their interests maybe, and after taking all the necessary steps, once you see that you're making your kids smile, then you're the happiest person ever

I hope I was helpful in some way shape or form You can tell me that I'm misunderstanding something, it's okay!

Many hugs!