being depressed most of my life,not wanting any more medicine,almost no interest left in this "sh....t" world,no friends,no one special by my side for i do not even remember when was the las time i had a gf.. boring job and most importantly,,Coping with my desires and thoughts about leaving this world sooner better than later..i can tell that my time is coming,,,,every single time i suffer a crisis,,,is getting more and more difficult to overcome it...
i have even joined a special site where people can discuss freely "stuff"and this one maybe probably as one of my last hopes especially wishing to find people who might give some advice regarding your impulses,suicidal thought and how you Cope with those feelings...
one more thing...i am 44 and feeling how big a failure I am as person,no light and hopes,just waiting for the day,Honestly,,the day D that allows me to have courage enough and say goodbye,,
Obviously i have a very extremely tiny hope that keeps me here and i really do not why and what that hope can be...
If there is at least one of you who goes through a very dangerous time like me ,please,please,,,i would love to hear from you....in particular from those
who just like me is not on meds and do not wanna hear about hospitals..
sorry,,,,maybe this is a big message...i do not know..This is my first post ever ,,