Was she like this even before the diagnosis?

I know the frustration of someone killing themselves slowly. I have one of those too, and I spent years trying to help him get better. I don't think when looking back, he EVER took any advice seriously. He just went straight to destructive behavior. When I asked him if he really wanted to die, he wasn't even aware of what he was doing. In his state of denial he was taking care of himself perfectly. I've been doing this for so long I cannot anymore. I can't spend my life trying to save someone who is hellbent on self destruction. I'm currently avoiding him and I have ceased to acknowledge his existence. He wants pity while he kills himself. I have explained that is not my job. I have explained it is torture watching this. He doesn't care about how I feel. So why should I care about how he feels? He does not have cancer but a lot of other very serious health issues.