It sounds like you've run out of road with your friend. That happens. Most people don't understand what that means. It means, you've fully played out the role you were meant to play out in each other's lives. The relationship has run its course. It also might mean you were never meant to be in each other's lives to begin with. You've realised this, but your friend hasn't. That means your friend will take it personally, but will get over it with time.

As far as telling them about it, that's really tricky not knowing what kind of person they are. Most people don't handle rejection well. And it will feel like rejection to them. These are things that may arise within your friend when you tell them: resentment, confusion, defensiveness, anger, denial, shutting down towards you.

The other option is to not say anything and just stop being with them. I did this with a friend, when I had so many personal problems I just didn't have the time or ability to maintain a friendship any longer, I just stopped seeing her completely. I had to focus all my energy on myself to survive the onslaught of chaos and suffering. After awhile, when the chaos subsided I saw her again.

One night she got drunk and told me how she felt about my absence from her life. She accused me of abandoning her. She said I cared more about other people than her. She said I had hurt her deeply. She hated me. She yelled at me. And she kept repeating that I had abandoned her.

This is an example of how a person might react to being let go of (temporarily or permanently). This was a very extreme reaction, I thought she was going to hit me.

Since I didn't deserve this. I quit being her friend completely and forever. It wasn't out of anger or punishment. I realised we didn't see eye to eye on very many issues. There was nothing to hold the friendship together. And I felt she had become co-dependent. On the other hand, I was not co-dependent on her.

I didn't announce this to her. I just stopped seeing her and stopped phoning her. Eventually we moved far, far, far, far, far away. When I told her we were moving so far away, she said "I'll have to come and visit." Clearly, she wasn't getting the message. The message was: the friendship isn't practical.

Yes, we could have talked on the phone or email. But I was tired of the complete lack of growth in her. The problems she had when I met her still existed six years later. She never did anything about her problems, she just wanted someone to complain to. And she re-created the same problem over and over and over. Solve the problem, find a new guy and have the exact same problem, solve the problem, find a new guy and have the exact same problem. It gets old fast.

If it's possible, just reduce the contact.

I had someone end a friendship with me. So it happens both ways. I had a friend who wanted to make a corporate video for her store. We produce corporate video and we have a green screen studio, so I quoted her a 50% rate. Normal video rate would be $4,000.

I quoted $2,000. I actually offered to do it for free, which she declined. So I quoted $2,000 (50% rate) and she said nothing. We proceeded to plan the video. She kept taking away tasks from me, which she said she could do herself, expecting the rate to drop each time from $2,000 downwards.

Eventually I told her the rate would be $2,000 regardless of how many of the tasks she took on herself. She sent me an email and told me to "have a nice life." She ended the friendship over a video. It didn't bother me at all. Clearly she was never really a friend. It's been a year and she still doesn't have a video on her store website.

It's rare for a friendship to last your entire life. Most friendships end with the two people drifting apart. So neither person actually even realises the friendship is ending. To proactively end a friendship is honest, but painful. I would try the stopping the contact route first and try to just let the friendship end itself. It may just die a slow death OR it will provoke a reaction. Then you have to go through the reaction with her, like I did. Then it will be over.