I guess I'll state upfront that I'm really just looking for some support and that I'm trying to work out my thoughts a bit. Journaling didn't give me as much insight as it usually does. I'm hoping some feedback here will help.

So, this is intentionally kind of vague. And long, sorry. I have been on meds for bipolar for two years now, and on meds that actually work well for me for about 3 months. Now that all the really big symptoms are under control, I'm starting to see traits of something else. I was trying to explain to my T what I'm experiencing and just couldn't get the words right in session. I decided to email her after and try to explain better. I usually communicate better in writing than speech. After reading what I sent, it struck me how strongly certain traits were coming across. I wish now that I'd never sent the email. I'm embarrassed. I don't want T to know about these things, and in a moment of trying to communicate, it feels like I overshared. It's okay for me to strongly suspect that there's more going on than just bipolar and generalized anxiety disorder. It's another thing entirely to make my T aware of it. I totally trust my T and she's been so helpful to me. However, I think I've already pushed her a bit outside her comfort zone and I'm afraid that if she makes the same connections I have, then I'll have pushed her so far outside of her comfort zone that she'll want to stop working with me. It wouldn't be the end of the world if she did decide that. I'd deal with it. It's just that I trust her and it's taken me a long time to build up that trust. I think that's why I overshared in this email. I know I won't get a reply until Monday and I know it will probably be a generic reply. I'm fine with that. I'm mostly dreading my session next week, because part of the agreement we have about emails is that we will talk about them in the next session and I really don't want to talk about this one. I know I can tell T that I don't want to talk about it and she'll respect that. At the same time, if I sent her an email about it, part of me must want to discuss. I think part of me is really afraid that she will make the same connections I have, and part of me is afraid she won't.