Sweet, you are young, I appreciate that. I have tried to be a good mom, I am not perfect, I have chronic ptsd as well. I know I always loved and wanted to protect them. This son is an amazing man and I want to help him be healthy and strong. Does having a mother and grandparents and an Aunt and Uncle you can go to any time help? My religious beliefs, hmm, very ecclectic, I believe in a great spirit and that we are put here to try to be loving witheachother and all that is on the earth, I believe not in the devil but in a human's ability to become evil in their deeds. I believe nothing is fair, there is no explanation, otherwise I would have to believe I were very bad to have the live I have. When my daughter died I yelled to the great spirit and said [censored] with me if you have a problem with me, not my babies. I guess that's how I could feel now if I let myself. I am trying to accept that [censored] just happens.