I was pretty suicidal prior to being in the hospital, that's the real reason I went. I do understand what you're taking about, though. Being in the hospital, they taught me techniques to better control the panic attacks and understand when reality is reality and not a dream. They taught me a few other things to better keep my mind from going down the suicidal rabbit hole. With all of this, I still have to deal with my trauma. I still have to endure the flashbacks, the dissociation, the anxiety, the depression and everything else I was dealing with before. The only difference is now I know techniques to help me get through each day. I had a great doctor and discharge planner that helped me understand techniques but also said that it was something that I was going to have to cope with until it isn't so intense later in life. PTSD isn't something that will ever truly go away, it can't be cured. However, you can learn to cope and manage it. I know at this point, I'm not ready for the forgiveness aspect of this process. That's probably going to be the most difficult part.