i'm okay Kimberly, in bed at 9:30 a.m. when I should have been at work an hour ago. Thank you so much for all of your kind words and love. It means a lot. I just ended up taking extra klonopin last night so I could go to the blessed sleep place. Not enough to hurt myself but still a bit. My anger has turned back to pain and a resignment that [censored] happens. It is up to me to live my life in a healthy loving way and give love to all around me. It is up to me to love my babies and give them all of the support I can. I wish my jane were here because she would be able to help me cry and pass through this. Maybe i will have a conversation with her anyway. thanks deary.