From what I have gleamed, sex is a really gross mechanical affair, and somehow my gut does not want that. It is not aroused.

But truly, I feel a desire to genuinely connect with someone romantically and physically. How, I do not know. I have never been close to anyone this way, even though I would like to.

But many people have told me that the way sex is portrayed in movies and pornography is extremely inaccurate, and I can see that there is no love involved. It is cold hearted mechanical pleasuring.

As such, I have no idea of knowing what real sex is. There is no way to find out, I can't watch pornography - it is simply too cold hearted, and honestly it disturbs the heck out of me. And I can't decide if I want sex or not.

So I'm unsure of whether I'm heterosexual or asexual.

I am a male, and I guess there is a lot of brainwashing going on, but it is so confusing not knowing what real sex is.

Any insight?