I was just saying that the silent treatment is by definition abusive. It wasnt a defensive move, like not talking so they will stop hitting you. Thats when you have no choice.

I am probably the most thick headed client on the planet. My t refuses to argue about anything, period. Either i accept that he is there for me, or i dont. But hes not going to argue about it. So i guess i dont understand what people are arguing about.

I wasnt trying to criticize. Just trying to look at where the conversation is going wrong and why. Because obviously you have two well-meaning people who both want to be there. But they are misunderstanding each other.

Also, my t expects me to treat him like a human being. He says he is one! Plus i need to learn how to state my disappointments or anger or whatever without destroying the relationship IRL so why not practice on him? Its still difficult.

Eta - altho it sounds like my early ts. My begging to stay with my long term t, even tho she wasnt a good fit for me. I was SO abandoned and unattached and unseen, i clung to her desperately and she let me.