@Clair, sorry to hear what you went through with your friend. And the first one was out of line with how angry she got at you while she was drunk, but if she never did that before, and she was drunk, then maybe she didn't really mean those things she said. Idk. Only you know that for sure since it was your friend.

As for not getting the hint when you decided to move, some people don't take hints that well. Maybe she assumed that you'd still want to be friends as all you said is that you're going to move far, far away. One friend did that to me, and once I said oh, I'll miss you, let's keep in touch, she said nothing at all, not even a I'll miss you too, and yeah, let's keep in touch.

Now that's a very strong hint! Looking back, I didn't get it at first. I think that it would've helped to be more clear with that one friend such as you don't think that you'll have any time to see her once you move, or that you don't think that a long distant friendship would work out. So I do agree with what Redd said in his/her response to you regarding that one friend.

As for the second one, you made things clear to her, and since she chose to not listen to you, that's her problem. It hurts when a friend that you've been close to for so long just disappears out of the blue for no apparent reason. If that happened to the other person, then they'd probably be hurt too. I'd much rather have someone tell me exactly why they don't want to be my friend anymore, even if it's something hurtful than to be cut out of someones life and never knowing why things ended the way that it did.

The worst thing that can happen in a relationship is never getting any closure on why things ended. If the friend is more like an acquaintance, then I don't bother doing any of this, but if they're a good friend, I try to communicate how their behviour affects me and then give the chance to change. If they don't, then I'll cut them out of my life like you did with that friend who wouldn't keep whining about all of her bad boy friends.

Even the slow fade hurts. My point is that never do anything to anyone else that you wouldn't want done to you. I think that open communication is always your best option unless you think that friend will try to get back at you in some way by doing so. Then by all means do the slow fade or no contact.