If you could just say the perfect thing you could convince her how worthy you are? Sound about right? I've been there, my T followed this pattern very often and swung between being caring and having little empathy for me. She made me feel I was wrong and when I had a closing call to end things well for me she said I bullied her.

What she is doing is abusive, just being nice enough to keep you on the hook and keep you loving her but not actually caring enough to be effective in any way.

Sometimes we all feel very big feelings and a lot of emotion, the service we PAY for is to be helped with those feelings and work them out. What we don't pay for is to be retraumatised and further hurt by being rejected for having feelings. We are already hard enough on ourselves most of the time that having someone else be hard on us is not helpful.

When I was finally dumped from my T I felt overwhelming relief. It is exhausting to try and be perfect so someone doesn't reject you. The time and effort that goes into that is mentally draining. It feels as though you can't make it without this person finally seeing you and approving of you but you can 100%.