Eden, if I were in your situation, I would be terrified and I would probably have a lot of the same thoughts and feelings you report here. I would be very confused and scared.

I would think that listening to the others in my head is not working and I must try something different.

I would be tempted by several options, which you seem to be struggling with as well. I would find someone I felt I could trust...hopefully a psychiatrist or psychologist but honestly a teacher or family member or ANYONE who I felt deep in my heart wanted the best for me...and I would tell that person everything.

That's what I would do because keeping it all inside would be killing me.

I wish you all the best.

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