The OP said she didnt name-call, etc, therefore she wasnt abusive. I was just letting her know that the silent treatment IS abusive - i wasnt saying SHE was being abusive. If she didnt think it was abusive, clearly her intent was missing. I wasnt crucifying her for it. But sheesh some people sure crucified me for trying to educate her (not you velcro - my mother was an expert at the silent treatment too, as we have discussed). I was not HINTING she was being abusive. I said what i meant and i meant what i said, relative to the OP. like Oprah says, when you know better, you do better. But if the best the OP can do in session is the silent treatment, im not going to judge her one way or the other. e