Quote:
Originally Posted by ReddSkyes
You haven't really explained this "distance" you spoke of. Are you moving and want to keep correspondences to an email or two a week at best? Do you want to hang out less? Does she want to be friends and you just want to be acquaintances? How close are you now? How often do you spend time with each other? Have you two helped one another, been a part of each others lives and struggles, or just get together casually for a drink, movie, etc? Did something happen recently, once or twice or multiple times that has changed the way you see or feel about her? Are either of you currently going through a difficult time?
I'm not asking because I want all the details. This is to get you thinking. I believe it's important to weigh all of this before you decide how you should proceed.
As I told another member, it is probably better to not disappear. If it is better for her feelings, things such as work, school, life, personal issues can be used as reasons for less interaction. This could take a good long while though. If she has done something, or you feel like you are "moving on" and she doesn't "fit" your plans, maturity, where you're going, then it's probably better for her sake you find a gentle way to tell her.
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I think everything through for weeks before I make choices like this. Thinking about it now isn't going to change anything. I'm perfectly at peace with the friendship ending. Why? Because the friends I had in grade one are different than the ones I had in grade 7 and are different than the ones I had in grade 11 and are different than the ones I had at age 21 and are different than the ones I had at age 28 and are different than the ones I had at age 35 and are...I could repeat this all the way to age 60. My friends have changed close to 10 times over my lifetime.
You get the picture. Ending friendships is natural, normal and part of life. In almost ALL cases, my friends changed and there was NO announcement. No one came to me and said I'm ending our friendship. I'm sixty and this didn't happen even once, with the exception of my friend who emailed me and told me to "have a good life." In that particular case, all she had to do was not reply to my email or phone messages and I would have gotten the message.
This is an extraordinarily small issue that is being made into an extraordinarily big issue. Friendships end all the time AND the vast majority of them don't end with an announcement or discussion. Should they? If it makes YOU feel better. I'm not convinced it makes THEM feel better.