am i real..? is any of this real..?
are you real..?
i hate feeling so confused...
im trying to tell myself that this is real... but i really dont believe it...
i just dont know what i am... but i know what i have been told i am...
im scared of this.... i wish i had a therapist...
a real therapist... not some imaginary thing...
just wanna wake up...

what am i to do.. i dunno...

i try telling a little to like my mother, and my dad is scared of that stuff and just wants me to pray and go to church...

but no one knows what i am talking about... just seems so fake... like they are just part of the dream too... just starting to feel like i can't provide enough proof that this is real.. life...
i dont know how to describe the way i feel... because i have always felt like this... i just thought it was noramal... but i dont think it is nnormal...
i try to be patient with myself... not getting mad about forgetting everything... or getting mad because people ask me something repeatedly and i still cant answer... no wonder i just want to isolate...
i need more real people in my life... or other people... well a real person.. argh i dunno how to say it... i dont want anymore robotic spacers occupying this visual effect called reality...

i dont know where to write about this... or probably shouldnt even write about it really... it just doesnt make sense... no one understands...
i just dont live on earth i guess...
oh well...
this sucks...
i just dont know if im already over the cliff... or if im getting close to it and cant stop... i dont want my brain to die... i try to be nice to it...
such an idiot, grrr....

apologies... i guess maybe if this is all just a simulation and i post here maybe im on a computer somewhere else in the simulation and will reply to me...