That's horrible! I think your reaction is what anyone would have after going through what you did, you aren't crazy. Even if you already had mental health issues, those events would be traumatic to anyone. Don't be ashamed, because even if you can't get out of bed or you are not able to do every day things, you are still here, which shows a lot of strength. I would advise you to find a good therapist if you can, because they can help you work through everything. I can understand how hard it is to not always recognize yourself and emotions. Another option is work books that you can find in any bookstore on subjects like PTSD, (even if you aren't diagnosed with it they can still help). Try to do little things to take care of yourself like eating and exercise if you can manage, but if it doesn't happen then don't beat yourself up about it. It's very normal after something like this to have good days and bad days, up and down, sometimes feel ok, sometimes feel terrible. It's a sign that deep down you are trying to get better and haven't yet lost hope, even if some days feel like it. I totally understand losing trust in other people, and one way to help this is to learn about boundary setting and learning to trust your instincts. "Jane" is a toxic and dangerous person that you need to stay away from. How she treated you and every one else is abuse, and people making excuses for their behavior that they were drunk is never ok. Even if a person had alcohol, they are still responsible for their behavior. If your friends hang out with her, there is nothing that makes you obligated to come along, even if they get mad or something. You always have the right to say no to anything. If something doesn't feel right to you, or someone makes you feel unsafe, then get away. I admire you for helping your friend and calling the police, that must have taken a lot of strength and courage. Please remember that none of this is your fault, and you and your friends did not deserve to be treated this way. No one does. You might not know where your life is headed at this point, but know that you are still alive, still trying, you have a good sense of right and wrong, that OCD and depression do NOT mean you are insane and that you are a strong survivor. I hope this was helpful, and I send my best wishes to you. Take care!