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Originally Posted by Shy Introvert
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Thanks for your kind words. I try to see things from another persons p.o.v as much as I can. Anyways, wow, aye aye aye!!! I've also had friends like that in the past. They are super annoying, and it does get old fast! It sounds like you gave her fair warning, but she chose to ignore things after awhile.
And she kept on making the same mistake over and over again. Ugh! With my former bff, I did give her closure only so she could learn from her mistakes. I wasn't mean in my email to her, but maybe I could've sugar coated things a bit more. She'd do the same thing but after awhile she told me twice that she didn't want to hear about my problems. Especially when I'd never do anything about them. That was quite hypocritical of her since I have limits to what I can do about certain things. Plus she always obsess about ex b.f's and what ifs.
So I know how you feel when it comes to dealing with annoying people like that. They do sound like broken records, lol! You're right, friends are not free therapists! I try not to be to much of a burden on people most of the time now as I don't want to loose any of the great friends that I currently have.
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It took me a long time to recognise how negative I was. When I did realise it, I decided to stop talking negatively all the time, like talking for hours on end with my friend about how much our lives sucked. Instead I decided to try to improve my life. Merely stopping talking so negatively all the time changed things immediately. Nobody wants to be around a whiner who always has problems. And nobody wants to talk about the same problem forever. If one needs to do that, that's what paid therapy is for.
Being a good friend is much more than informing someone you are choosing to end the friendship. And friendships usually just end organically, people drift apart and move on, without an announcement.
Now I really watch how much (often) I burden my friends with my problems. And I don't keep talking about the problem forever. I think my friends today are the first true friends I've had, because it's based on mutual sharing of normal life. It's not based upon mutual commiseration of how much our lives suck.
I have the utmost of respect for people who want to talk about their problems if they are also open to talking about solutions. If problems are merely presented without the possibility of solution, then that person is just wasting my time.