there is a british comedy called "the last of the supper wine" ... it is about three old retired gentlemen and their daily experiences ... I really enjoy watching this especially when I am blue ... it's not the comedy I enjoy .. but the wish I could be like them ... to enjoy your golden years with good friends ... to have those that know you and still want to be your friend ... one's that know you better than you know yourself ... I don't desire things, or wealth or anything material ... but as I grow older and nearing retirement and the end of things it is so sad to be alone .... it is so sad I have found this out so late .. I sometimes feel it is really not mental illness as much as it is loneliness .... the tortured depressed mind a product of a life spent driving others away and never developing deep lifelong friendships ...

if I seem needy, please understand, this forum is the only place I can share ... you are my "old" friends ... so be kind with each other as someday you may be in my shoes ...

this is our safe place ... our peaceful field ... to lie back in and watch the clouds drift overhead ... to be each others friends

somedays I may be down and somedays you may be .. hopefully between us we can keep each other company ...

just a reflection on a blue day ... Tigger ...