Hello kiyoko5,

I feel you. I also have episodes where I feel needy and non-direct attention feels like no-attention.
My suggestion is: be honest. Maybe you can find an agreement? My partner and I both know this feeling so it's mostly "easy" to say 'My loved, today I need an hour of us-time to feel safe'

For me, even an hour can make the difference. Or maybe a fix evening that belongs to you two where you just talk or play board games or such things. (Playing the video games together could be also a thing. Just watching someone else play would let a lot of people feel left out)

You are not demanding for such a request. It's unrealistic that no-TV-I-need-full-attention will be every day, but you are allowed to state your needs and try to find a compromise.

But just saying "I need you sometimes to do this" won't do it. Better a "On Friday I need an evening for us without TV, can you arrange that?". It's hard to make clear communications but it helps a lot.

And maybe sometimes, when he is too tired and cannot meet your needs, you can go out with friends? I don't know your situation there or if this is in any way something that would help you, but for me this is doing wonders. He has less pressure and I have attention.

Wish you luck