If you are actively suicidal, it's time to go IP if possible. At least you will be safe. You explained a decent and safe environment to go to. Could you return to the same place with the great doctors? I definitely think you should reach out quickly.

****potential trigger warning below******

Asking someone if they have loved ones and saying they will ruin their lives could backfire. First, they may not feel they have loved ones in their current state. Next, they may not have any friends or relatives and this could remind them. Statistics on children committing the same act in response can be read and applied in an opposite fashion. It's all very sensitive.