Actually, notwithhaste, I would never presume to say whether or not you should go to the session! It really and truly is your decision, and whatever decision you do make on the issue is the right one for you. You have attached to this therapist and your time with her hasn't been horrendous and unhelpful; you have mentioned that you've made progress with her over time, but now the two of you have reached a difficult area. It doesn't sound to me as though she is a f'ing ***** , but the reality is, when we're doing deep work in therapy, our own transference brings up powerful feelings from the past and sometimes our therapist do elicit feelings of abuse, neglect and rage and anger rises up in us. If you have to push those feelings aside or intellectualize them, I personally feel that means that you are never able to really and truly deal with them in a healing way.

It does sound to me as though your therapist might really be struggling to contain her own counter transference and that has lead to a very uneven relationship between the two of you. It doesn't make her an evil or abusive therapist. It makes her ill-equipped to deal with your issues as they are right now at this point in your therapy. Personally, I believe that therapy for the majority of people who have experienced early childhood trauma (not everyone because I get it that not everyone responds the same) make the best progress in a therapeutic relationship that truly addresses attachment issues in an even, well-trained, knowledgeable manner. Your therapist might very well be struggling with this because of her own difficulties. But that doesn't make her a terrible person, maybe just the person that can't take you to the next level in your healing UNLESS she gets some really good and experienced supervision from someone who knows what he/she is doing! But I do understand your reluctance and pain about not being in her presence again or even considering leaving her for another therapist. That's the sadness of there being so many poorly trained therapists out there--they just aren't equipped to deal with difficult issues with skill and expertise.

If you get a chance, you might want to read these blogs: Tales of a Boundry Ninja (written by a very insightful client and talks about her journey in therapy) and How Therapy works by Dr. Jeffrey Smith. He has a great book called Attachment to Your Therapist in which he has posts from many therapy clients and his responses. He also has a good book titled: How We Heal & Grow or something like that.