Welcome back, I'm so sorry life is so rough on you. I was lucky and depression didn't strike me seriously until I was 32. I can't imagine what you have had to endure.
Online friends find it easy to forget the people that have stood by them, either that are they are so miserable themselves that they can't reach out anymore. Don't take it personally.
I'm sorry the medication isn't working.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin
"Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha