Hi salsharia,

I'm sorry you're experiencing so much pain! It is one of the features of depression that we focus on ourselves, I often come away from a conversation and wish I took more interest in the other person's problems. Depression takes over all our thoughts. Could you send a text reminding your friend that you do care and are thinking of him?

I don't believe anyone tries to be depressed. It's a desperate place to be.
While it is good to be informed, self diagnosis in my opinion almost always causes more worries than it solves. I hope you have some professional support and if not, a conversation with your doctor will give you a more objective opinion, and maybe guidance to find the help you need.

Good luck and best wishes