Okay so to start i know it's best to avoid drugs and alcohol in any case and especially with BP. I'm just wondering how you guys have acted under the influence in the past. I'm always jealous of the people that seem to be able to enjoy drinking and have no issues. In my case i drink until i'm sick or passed out. This has gotten me into so many fights with friends and generally acted CRAZY. I've blacked out more times than i can count. I feel like i am the only one that has had trouble with this, i get so depressed and wreckless off alcohol. I get jealous and try to ruin everyone's night as well because people seem to be happier than me. That's not my sober mindset, but i tend to turn into an awfule person while extremely drunk. I'm usually easy going and happy with only a couple drinks, but it quickly turns into suicidal depression. There's an easy answer for this-don't drink or do drugs. I get that if i can't figure out a way to drink lightly, then i am going to have to call it quits altogether. Anyway what are your guys experiences? Any crazy things you've done? I turn into a completely different person pretty much under the influence, i'm wondering if this is common with people with BP, maybe BPD?