*Trigger warning, I guess....*

I have really bad anger problems right now. My irritability and anger are very high.

Something happened earlier today (don't really want to go into the details) that made me severely p*ssed off, and now I just feel depressed. I feel depressed because I feel like I'm out of control and there's nothing I can do about it. What I mean is, I feel like I'm hopeless in controlling my anger. I feel like there's nothing I can do about it. No amount of medication or therapy has helped control it, and I don't see what can help it at this point. I feel like my life is hopeless if I can't even control my anger... if that makes sense. It's made me question my own existence because I feel hopeless and helpless.

Hoping this feeling passes, and that it's not a true depressive episode. (I've always suspected I had BPD, so it's possible it's something related to that. I'm a very reactionary kind of person.)