Today. I have had 8 years sober in the past. I am an alcoholic....I relapsed at the end of 2013 and now have 2.5 months sobriety....I struggled again for 2 years. I am struggling NOW. Which is why I still say "I am an alcoholic".

However, looking back on this 2 months...I have gone thru so much ******** and I still haven't drank. After 19 years working the same job..and making a lot of money...I no longer have that job. Every day I panic about my future...but have been dealing with the panic sober.

I live with somone who is addicted to CRACK/COCAINE. Everyday is a battle. I was just watching Intervention and they say "Most need help to get sober".

I'm watching the family members on Intervention and seeing what pain they go thru...the same pain I am going thru with my addicted boyfriend...BUT...I AM ALSO struggling with the thoughts of drinking.

I have watched Intervention for YEARS...and only today I realized that I am NOW on BOTH sides..and it is really difficult. I am sober...and right this second I am GLAD.

I wanted to drink all day today. But, the realization that I am strong...is that I am telling myself it is OK to be proud of stopping...and maintaining sobriety.

I just hope one day...I can say I WAS an alcoholic. When I had about 5 years sober...I switched from saying "I am an alcoholic" to I WAS...because once you don't use for a period of time...the cravings pass...the mental torment passes...and when a person reaches that point..I believe it is THEN healthy to put your label in the past.

I am still an alcoholic ...fighting everyday....