I always make up relationships like 'imaginary friends' and I have done this for YEARS it seems like. I'm 20 now and have done this since I was probably 14. I have so many different anxiety issues so because of that I have never dated, never go out, never really leave my house. I can't even meet people online because I'm too afraid to reply to people a lot of the time.

I will find pictures online of different celebrities or something and then write a story about how we met, I will sit around and pretend they're with me either in real life or I will write it like a story. I will cuddle a pillow at night and pretend it's them. I have many different emails so I will send an email to myself and reply as if I'm the man and like we're having a conversation. I get really invested in the story of it all.

I guess it's because I'm just so lonely and really want love. But this just makes me feel SOOOO pathetic after a while.