Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
Why do you say that? There are a lot of men who are fine with it and do it all the time. I am in the same boat as you but I dont' see it as society doing anything to me, I'm introverted and have a hard time with doing so.
I disagree. Society doesn't matter one bit when approaching any single woman. She is not thinking about your age, your status or anything else on initial looks. Well there may be some of that going on but there is no "social overlord" controlling society's actions or your behavior. This is all a perception thing. When you choose to either act or fail to act on feelings toward a woman, it's purely your choice. No one is coming out of a wall and pointing a finger at you for doing something that this "society" does not see fit.
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I do think that being shy/introverted has a lot to do with it. When I am out someplace, like the gym for example, my natural inclination is not to go and start conversations with people I don't know. It comes naturally to extroverts, but not to us introverts. However, when I see a girl I think is cute, I want to talk to her. But I want to talk to her because I am attracted to her, not because I have anything to say. Anything I do say will be manufactured. And also, I have a real problem coming up with clever things to say. Still not sure if that is because of social anxiety or slow cognitive processing speed, but it really gets in the way. So IF I were to go talk to girls, it will always come off as really awkward. No way around it.
And yes, I think guys are shamed for going and approaching cute girls just because we think they are cute and would like to get to know them. Just a few posts ago people were saying how it is creepy to approach strangers. Creepy means not socially acceptable. Oh and I've been on gender studies forums and talked to plenty of feminists. Their views are even more extreme than you would expect. Many of them consider it "objectification" for a guy to be interested in a girl without first connecting with her on a personal level. In other words, the type of crushes we get on girls we don't really know are objectification and they are creepy and unacceptable.