I do find "normal" to be relative and/or subjective. That said since this is a place for support and not a great way to get anything specific since labels/diagnosis over the internet isn't truly accurate, noone can sincerely answer the question. Besides sorting through a lifetime can be rather complex never mind complicated.

Not that seeking information can't be helpful in helping you to help yourself.

Conflict avoidant typically comes to my mind when reading about straying from relationships. Your op addresses self esteem already which plays a role, but finding the source can take some professional guidance. And it's during those sessions where after listening they can start to guide you.