I really don't know where to start. I've been battling depression all my life due to the physical and verbal abuse that I received by my parents and siblings. I'm almost 40 and I still have the reoccurring nightmares of a lot of the attacks and events that have happened in my life. Thanks to have such a low self confidence and esteem, I don't do well anymore with stress and emotional bullying. I am a single parent of 3, even though I am married. He is not a help and in fact causes a lot of my depression to become worse. But, I'm stuck in a weird situation that's hard to explain. But I will say that I have no where else to go and no one to turn to. I normally have had my depression under control, but the past couple of weeks, I have really slipped down into the dark abyss. I no longer feel motivated to exercise, eat, or do much of anything. I tried to keep up with a blog online so I could express my feelings and get them out, but it doesn't seem to help much anymore since I don't feel like doing that anymore. Doctors and meds are a nogo for me since I don't have insurance. I've been handling it with using nature and exercise, but it's just no working anymore. I'm really lost and have no idea what to do.