OK, this is way more detail than I planned to go into, but here's the story:

I have only known her two years, so all this happened before I met her: She was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in 2005. It went into remission in 2007. She did three rounds of chemo and radiation and had apparently beaten it in 2009. But she became unable to work due to damage from the treatments, got divorced (her second divorce), and had to move into subsidized housing. She stopped going for testing after 2 years. I met her in 2014. The cancer showed up again in 2015. This time it is slow moving and with a cocktail of drugs administered monthly (no chemo) she SHOULD be doing just fine right now. However, she seems to be on a mission to sabotage her treatment.

It's my *opinion* that after 2 failed marriages and being unable to work, she feels she doesn't deserve to get better. She IS seeing a therapist, which is why I try to take a step back and say she's an adult, it's her choice, but I'm ALSO over there every weekend helping her do the stuff she can't manage physically and taking her to appointments, so there's no way I can NOT worry about it.