That's a lot to come off of like that. My mom also takes synthroid and when she runs out or stops taking it...lets just say the last time that happened she ended up in the hospital almost in ICU. Your thyroid pretty much runs your body, and without it, it starts shutting down. I can't speak for the rest of them exactly, but lamictal...no good to just stop either. And the rest of them either.
I'm not trying to lecture you about this at all. You are an adult and can make your own decisions. But I hope you are able to find relief and know that there are people who would be miserable if anything were to happen to you. It takes a while sometimes, but it does get better. It's just waiting for it that is hard. Please keep fighting and take care of yourself.

ps- you're not dumb, you're just in pain