Hello dpellsworth: I believe it is the case that most, if not all, psych med's come with at least the potential for sexual side effects. Plus... depression & anxiety themselves can negatively impact one's sexual capabilities. Taken together it's probably not surprising that you're having the problem you're having.

When you're alone & watching porn, there's no performance anxiety... no potential for embarrassment. But when you're with your wife, you're in the spotlight, so to speak. And once you begin to experience difficulty, you start to become apprehensive about it & that just creates more anxiety. So your anxiety spirals up-&-up feeding on itself. At least this is my perspective on it.

So, having written that, what is the answer? It's probably going to take some work to sort it all out. First of all I think it's important for you to be able to be open & honest with your wife regarding what's going on with you & how you feel about it. Some individual therapy or couples counseling may help. You may also want to discuss, with your prescribing physician, what you're experiencing.

I wish you well...