This has turned into a rough week. I've had multiple reminders of the life I once used to lead.

First I saw a Jeep pass by with the top down and I thought, "That used to be me." Then yesterday I saw a car go by with two kayaks on the roof and I thought, "Heck, that used to be me." Then I saw an advertisement for outdoor gear and thought, "Eff, that was me." And then this morning I saw a five year old photo I took of my dog during a winter camping trip in the back country.

And so I took a hard look at myself and asked "What is me? Who am I? What am I?"

People don't understand. They don't realize what we've lost of ourselves by being mentally ill. They don't grasp the great toll it has taken on us. They just don't understand the huge personal cost.