I was talking about how it feels like there is a load of pain inside of me which feels unreachable, and I don't know what it is or how to feel it. T suggested one of the reasons it feels so hard to define could be that it relates to preverbal experiences.
Since he said that, I have been feeling very anxious and can't stop thinking about it because it has struck a chord with me. I have had a few dreams since the last session, including one where I was travelling in an aeroplane looking at the curve of the earth when I suddenly realised how tiny I am and became overwhelmed with fear. I had another dream where I bit into an apple and found it rotten at the core and crawling with insects. Another one where I had to go down a long tunnel, but somebody had put a big locked iron door there so I couldn't get any further. All these dreams seem pretty significant to me and related to T's suggestion about preverbal experiences.
I tried to clear my mind of cognitive thought and create a collage to see if it helped me to express anything significant but I don't know if the results mean anything or if they're random (or contrived). I don't trust myself or my memories, and because I deal in truth and cognition, I find this abstract concept difficult to deal with.
I haven't had the opportunity to talk about this with T in any detail yet, but I am wondering if anyone here has had similar feelings, and how are those feelings dealt with and explored in therapy?