Quote:
Originally Posted by Tauren
OK, this is way more detail than I planned to go into, but here's the story:
I have only known her two years, so all this happened before I met her: She was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in 2005. It went into remission in 2007. She did three rounds of chemo and radiation and had apparently beaten it in 2009. But she became unable to work due to damage from the treatments, got divorced (her second divorce), and had to move into subsidized housing. She stopped going for testing after 2 years. I met her in 2014. The cancer showed up again in 2015. This time it is slow moving and with a cocktail of drugs administered monthly (no chemo) she SHOULD be doing just fine right now. However, she seems to be on a mission to sabotage her treatment.
It's my *opinion* that after 2 failed marriages and being unable to work, she feels she doesn't deserve to get better. She IS seeing a therapist, which is why I try to take a step back and say she's an adult, it's her choice, but I'm ALSO over there every weekend helping her do the stuff she can't manage physically and taking her to appointments, so there's no way I can NOT worry about it.
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I'm sorry, I disagree, you can choose to not worry the way you do. Let me ask you two questions: Does all the worrying you do improve anything?
If not, why are you doing it? If your worrying about her is not improving anything, then you yourself are self destructive, because needless worry is hurting you, otherwise you wouldn't be on this forum voicing these concerns. Since you are also participating in self destructive behaviour, I think you are projecting some of it onto her. You need to address your own self destructive behaviour with regard to this needless worry. No amount of worry is going to save her. Only she can save herself.