i am wondering if this has always been the case for you (sorry if you wrote that it was) and how long you have been on wellbutrin for?

i ask that because i was on wellbutrin years ago, and it made the dissociation SO severe that i questioned my own existence (worse than usual) to the point i was convinced i had to hurt myself just to prove i was alive. it was really scary. but once i went off that, it lessened to the normal dissociation i had.

perhaps it has taken this long for the effects of drugs and alcohol and other meds combined with the dissociation you experience for your brain to recover. it might kind of still be waking up and trying to process things, and it might also be partly a result of stress and anxiety over not being able to remember much too which can create a cycle of all that and contribute to some memory loss.

i had several years of very bad dissociation. i have no idea how i actually got through high school because of it and other things associated. though i DO have memories from the past few years. unlike you though, i don't recall a lot of trauma, just befores and afters. i also cannot piece together timelines that well....and i get time confused in general where i think something happened a few years ago where it was a year or so ago or the opposite.

i have a daily routine, so i generally know i stick to it when i cannot fully remember..also cuz i know i stay home unless i need to go out for something..so it doesn't concern me as much..it's more the dissociation aspect than memory aspect that bothers me cuz i have no life to really have time matter 'that' much.

my memory loss isn't as significant as yours, but i can relate to some of what you have said.