You're not here and I need you so badly. I hate that I need you but I do. Who am I supposed to turn to when I feel like this, like there is no point. I am trying, I really am but it makes me feel like a failure in life. I just don't know why I bother. It hurts. Why can't I just disappear. Who would care, really? Putting myself out there in the world is a big mistake, it just makes it all worse and then I am supposed to just cope! Well I will survive but what life is it when that is all there is. I love you and I hate you. I need you and I don't want you. I have no idea where my head is right now and I am hurting and you aren't here.